This is something I wrote about a year and a half ago. I have referenced the bible and a couple of books. This is especially for reader Cathy who has her views about sex. So Cathy, here are my views on “making love”. If you can believe it, ( I am male and therefore its assumed that I need to copulate to be even able to think. BUT..) I have been estranged from my woman a shade over two years now and we haven’t been intimate in just about a year. Yet in those two + years, I have not succumbed to temptation… and the Lord knows I had many temptations.
I am searching my computers and hard drives for that post and will put it up here as soon as I find it. Meanwhile here’s what I remember right now. In one verse of the bible, it says – Sexual relationships should take place at the right place with the right person in the right way at the right time. Not just any time is the right time. There is a proper time, a God time. I happened to read this just weeks after I met JJ. Let’s track back some 20+ years in my life. As a child, I came upon some sadistic porn where young girls were being abused. Girls no older than I was at the time. Never mind who was watching it and how I happened to see it. It traumatized me. I grew up believing the vagina was gross and due to the violence towards the woman in the video, I associated sex with pain, as not being pleasant. As a teenager, I had more than enough female attention and I did a lot of naughty things but firstly it was about me, secondly I never did the whole act (for obvious mental blocks – sex is not pleasant, its a violent act) and finally I never ever touched a woman down below (its a dirty thing isn’t it). All that changed with someone. So later when I read that verse from the bible, I did begin to believe that the right person, right time is God time. In fact, when I was getting to know JJ, we reached a comfort level very quickly and even before I started dating her, I remember telling her I thought sex was a troublesome thing. She too agreed. It all changed for us. Sex is a wonderful gift given to us by God and this physical world is intimately linked to deeper spiritual realities. It is more enjoyable to give then to receive (something women obviously understand better than men, they work harder to please their men while the men just work harder to please themselves). When you see sex as God deemed it for us, you will find pleasure like you have never known before. You will find that sex is not just a bodily pleasure, not just a pleasure of the flesh but also a spiritual pleasure. My girlfriend and I once spoke about it and she like me for the first time said “Making love is a beautiful thing”. It is not just a physical release and for the men reading this, please wake up. Sexual pleasure is for both men and women. If your woman demands or is dominant when it comes to sex, please don’t think of her as slutty. Women are sexual beings too and they have sexual desires. Allow her the freedom of expression. Sit back and enjoy it. My best moments with my love came when she expressed herself. And boy, did she express it a lot! And again for the guys reading this, please grow up. Don;t freak out if your woman says things to help you take care of your sexual health. It’s good to be informed what iss good fro your and what’s not. It’s even better if your partner is informed too. An example from my own relationship, my woman once said “I know my body very well, so let me tell you”. I was grateful she did. I know of guys who would freak out if they heard stuff like that.
All of us are susceptible to our passions getting out of control, overpowering both our will and reason and it causes great hurt and damage. This is the work of the devil. A man needs caring, admiration and sexual fulfillment from his partner and a woman needs affection, appreciation and intimate conversation with her partner. When these needs are not fulfilled, we open the door to the devil to sow the seeds of temptation and sin in the form of affairs. It happens slowly and over time and we may not even know it’s happening (this iss how the devil works – slyly) and then you are having an affair and hurting your partner and also God. For the guys again, if you are abusive towards your partner then you are abusive towards God. True pleasure comes from a secure, intimate relationship. By hurting your partner you scar her. I know, my lover had an abusive boyfriend before. It changed her outlook towards everything (not gravely thank God and I guess it also has to do with her understanding friend and her own approach to life but it did change it even if ever so slightly) just like my episode as a child changed mine. So first rule for guys, respect and appreciate your women, only then can you truly love them.
As I said, when I find that post on the hard drives of my computer, I will put it up here. Meanwhile if you cannot wait, I recommend the book GOD ON SEX. It will enlighten you much better than I can on how sex is meant to be and why we have abused it and abused God because we abuse sex and how the devil is the reason for it.
I have kept the Devil away these last couple of tough years. Have you?
